I woke up super earlier this morning. For some reason I can feel someone thinking of me or maybe my phone is going to ring so I can get up in the middle of the night and it will ring. Sure enough, one of my friends sends me a text and I pop up and I watch the sunrise. She was having problems in her relationship and since I have now let people into my "little New York in Baltimore" spot, I let her vent over some 7-11 brew.
I had like one sentence for her. "Sounds like you want to be free and go with the flow." We started laughing. "Not forever, just for now."
I told her for a similar reason, well not similar at all, but I said similar, I'm just feasting on fruit to get my mind and body on a different level for a few days. I already but wine to the side awhile ago, now its time to add to my discipline as I gear up to retake "The Test" in a few weeks.
I noticed in even preparing my mind for it I've had several revelations. One of which is to act as if I were in class again and immediately study after work. All the late night hours-- no more. I want to relax. The other revelations were more introspective such as me saying things that I will do that are incongruent with my consistent pattern of behavior. For example, if that man touches me I will take out my gun (which I don't own) and shoot up everybody in here!
Due to the consequences, and I always think about the consequences even if I try to do the dirt and not get caught, I won't do anything to ridiculous. Therefore, I'm just talking. I'm more of the I will file charges, move to another city or file a formal complaint type. I think the former is an unserved desire to be a comedienne?
Perhaps I will find the answer to this and many other of life's very simple "to do or not to do" questions this week.
Silence is good. Solitude is better is strengthens the spirit for the times when you are unable to be alone and you must help others. I look forward to this week. I always expect the unexpected.I will try to post pics of my watermelon. Its huge. Peace.
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