The Best Sunday Watermelon and Lemon Tea Week

I woke up super earlier this morning. For some reason I can feel someone thinking of me or maybe my phone is going to ring so I can get up in the middle of the night and it will ring. Sure enough, one of my friends sends me a text and I pop up and I watch the sunrise. She was having problems in her relationship and since I have now let people into my "little New York in Baltimore" spot, I let her vent over some 7-11 brew.
I had like one sentence for her. "Sounds like you want to be free and go with the flow." We started laughing. "Not forever, just for now."
I told her for a similar reason, well not similar at all, but I said similar, I'm just feasting on fruit to get my mind and body on a different level for a few days. I already but wine to the side awhile ago, now its time to add to my discipline as I gear up to retake "The Test" in a few weeks.
I noticed in even preparing my mind for it I've had several revelations. One of which is to act as if I were in class again and immediately study after work. All the late night hours-- no more. I want to relax. The other revelations were more introspective such as me saying things that I will do that are incongruent with my consistent pattern of behavior. For example, if that man touches me I will take out my gun (which I don't own) and shoot up everybody in here!
Due to the consequences, and I always think about the consequences even if I try to do the dirt and not get caught, I won't do anything to ridiculous. Therefore, I'm just talking. I'm more of the I will file charges, move to another city or file a formal complaint type. I think the former is an unserved desire to be a comedienne?
Perhaps I will find the answer to this and many other of life's very simple "to do or not to do" questions this week.
Silence is good. Solitude is better is strengthens the spirit for the times when you are unable to be alone and you must help others. I look forward to this week. I always expect the unexpected.I will try to post pics of my watermelon. Its huge. Peace.

Virginia Rehab: Wegmans

(Pretty Sunflowers at Wegmans)

"To receive the resurrection is to arise from the dead, to be alive, to be ourselves again. The resurrection is to be like a child -- to be wild and free but with a difference. The difference is that we have freedom with wisdom instead of innocence."-The Four Agreements

(Brie with Lime and Goat Cheese Shavings)

Well I am back from what has felt like a stint in rehab, but what was merely a trip to the burbs. The verdict, if you live in the 'burbs you must have financial freedom, lots of friendly neighbors that you are very cool with, and access to cool trips or a nearby metropolis. I will let you come to your own conclusions why. However, the trip served its purpose.

The days were beautiful and I had the opportunity to take lovely shots of the massive selection of produce at Wegman's. I wish they would get one in Baltimore, yet, I am not holding my breathe. I wish I had a thought to give you, but I literally have thought every conceivable thought I could have for the next week or two in the last five days. I am glad though. Thanks mom and brother. Oh and thank you walking trail for allowing me to walk you three times a day. Check out the produce.

(Peaches...mmmm)

(Fresh veggies..doesn't it make you want to go green?)

I hope all these veggies inspire you to cook up some good stuff. Bon Appetit!

When Life Gives You Lemons Make Strawberry Lemonade

You know the old saying when life gives you lemons make lemonade? Well I believe that is definetely true. I was flipping through the newspaper out here in Virginia and I noticed that they had a really wonderful sale going for strawberries and I thought that since life since metaphorically I had been dealt quite a few lemons lately it was time to make some lemonade! But if there are any mature people in the room (wave your mouse) you know it will be like that.

However, I didn't want it to just be the standard lemonade or it would remind me too much of the master cleanse so I decided that strawberries would sweeten the deal. I got a new gadget today so that I could really get deep into m writing and I couldn't help thinking over and over too myself as I was trying to find lemonade recipes what do I want? Is it to be a FRESHKID? More tattoos? I used to want to be really famous? I wanted to write like six books and they didn't need to be bestsellers, but they needed to get off my mind and out to the world. Then I was acting. I was living my dream. Those who know me, know, that is what I wanted to do. But I know stars and I know that those things don't necessarily make you happy. Wisdom will tell you that. In the moment yes, but, those lemons...

Then I looked at the trees, because out here in the boring suburbs that's all you can do... I realized that every time I turned my laser like focus onto anything without keeping things in order and for me that means spiritually it would up and disappear. Vanish. Poof. Never existed.

So I would have to adjust. That's why I am so detached at times. I am constantly adjusting or used to adjusting. But this time is very different. Imagine being told that you will NEVER be able to have children. Well, you may have never give it too much thought, but the entire option is now GONE. That dream is over, similar to a dancer who has to adjust to the fact that she will have to do something else with her life. So therefore, here is where the lemonade comes in. The adjuster says how can I still have this dream or change these dreams and make these sour lemons into something sweet? Well, you allow yourself to grieve and then adjust. I like to compare everything to the rise of the Phoenix or shedding a new skin like a snake. The dancer becomes the teacher. The barren mother adopts or who knows, God still does work miracles.

But in my dreams I heard a whisper say, "never turn your eyes away." I will leave that up to each individual interpretation. I have one goal happiness. The rest is just a means that end. Lemonade is a part of that fulfillment so here is the recipe. As usual. I love you. Bon Appetit!

This is from Emeril Lagasse. BAM!

• 2 cups water
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 tablespoon grated lemon peel
• 1 cup fresh lemon juice
• 1 pint fresh strawberries, hulled and halved
• 2 cups cold sparkling water or club soda
• Ice
• Mint sprigs, garnish
• Whole strawberries, garnish

Directions

In a medium saucepan, bring the water and sugar to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer, stirring occasionally, until the sugar dissolves. Add the lemon peel and lemon juice, stir, and remove from the heat. Let cool completely, then strain into a clean pitcher.

In a blender, puree the pint of strawberries and add to the pitcher with the lemon juice. Stir well to combine and refrigerate until well chilled.

Add the sparkling water and stir well. Pour over glasses filled with ice and serve, garnished with mint and strawberries.

Finally Free: And Green Goddess Salad Dressing (Yummy)

(Green Goddess Salad)

Ok. This is salad looks amazing. It was sent to me by sstockwell on my foodbuzz page. Thanks so much girlfriend this has rejuvenated me back to health. I am going to make this and eat every day. You and you alone have brought me back from the dark side back to the green side. I only hope mine turns out so lovely. I love the colors they just pop! Food like this is what you need on a hot summer day.

Now, before I give you starving vegan/vegetarians the recipe and the link to her lovely page you KNOW I have to give you a daily dose of my mind my mind functions. First of all, FRESHKID, has made a new pal. We shall call her Angelface because she came to me like an angel in the night on one of my rooftop excursions and offered me water. (such a sweet girl) She also kept asking had I'd eaten. (I've been hitting the gym, but I'm not at that point yet where folks need to check my nutrition) However, two snaps up for my 5 am workout today. 1 hour on the elliptical and 20 minutes on the weights. No goal, just relieving stress.

Again, sweet girl, Jamaican from Canada. We will refer to her as Angel because that is exactly what she looks like. So we kicked it on the roof for like three hours. She says she is moving in the vegetarian direction and her and her husband were having watermelon and mangoes for dinner, that's delightful. It's been awhile since I've done fruits for dinner. I'll do avocado and tomatoes, but just an orange or an apple? That's like Sylvester Stallone training for Rambo or something.

Anyway, we had alot of conscious talk. Alot of spiritual talk. I like that. We swapped stories and shared experiences. I like stuff like that when it's not overkill but just genuine. It's a part of me and I feel it the most when I am outside and it was drizzling a little which was even better. The rain, not torrential downpour, is nice. So we stuck out hands out and washed away the stress of adult life and thought about--Nothing for like a minute. Almost like being a kid without having to spend money.

Anyway, I've been writing alot. Thinking alot. Read Don Miguel Ruiz. Learning, making my own rules, but focusing on balance. Then one morning I woke up and I had a thought. This thought let's me know, I am on my way back to balance. (That thought after the dressing...)

For the Green Goddess Dressing Ingredients:

1 can flat anchovy fillets-drained

1 clove garlic

(large)1/2 small white onion chopped

1 shallot chopped

1 cup mayonnaise (Best Foods-Hellman’s)

2/3 cup heavy cream (best quality)

1/4 cup tarragon vinegar

(or wine vinegar with 1Tbls. Dried tarragon)

2 tbsp. orange juice

1/4 cup fresh parsley minced fine

2 tsp chopped chives

1/4 tsp. pepper

Dash of Tabasco

No salt needed

(Voila)

If you want more of their recipes check out their site Jefferson's Table. http://jeffersonstable.typepad.com/

Finally Free

"Right now in this life I am my own custodian making sacrifices today, so that I can do more than survive and finally live. Yet, I actually feel as though I am “living” now. But through my own eyes and my own vision, not someone else’s. Tomorrow I don’t know what I will be, I may not even be here. Because that is what I feel inside that is why I am not really scared and I don’t know where that feeling came from. I woke up one morning and there it was. Maybe it's true faith or inner strength, but I believe it's love. I think I am in love, with what I am not sure. Maybe life or what's to come or possibility or just the moment. But when I looked in the mirror I gave myself a hug."

Bon Appetit!

One Long Night From Sat to Sun then Brunch at J-Paul Steamers in Baltimore

(This is a tower or something that you can see from my rooftop)

Last Saturday I was going through it in a Sydney Pollack type way. My Kofi wearing guru says I am a scrappy little rebel and an intensely creative soul. That makes me chuckle. That is more of a Kanye West image than me. I do what I can, I'll probably do more and am on that path, but right now-- I am not Basquait going from table to table with my art. I think I am just taking myself and like more seriously. I', like a slave crossing the middle passage with some other slaves. Some make the voyage-- some don't. I am hoping to hope off the ship with my hair done and my clothes neat, if at all possible. (Back to my "rooftop")

Unfortunately, when you are there alone with just you and the breeze, a plastic cup, and a beverage on a rooftop staring at the limited surroundings, your mind takes you places. Luckily for me, I can remember everywhere my mind takes me.

I just can't seem to remember all the variables in a logic game. *sigh* However, that makes no difference to me in the fall of 2010 I still plan to be registering for someones Tort's class. I have plan.

Po Slim Black Girl Dinner (Simple recipe)

My vegan choice of dinner that evening between the hours of 12 midnight and roughly 3 am were Twizzlers and a lovely Spanish Wine that cost $11.00. My money is tight and I had to make choices. Those were the two I made on that Saturday night. The wine was later featured in the video remake of Beyonce's Diva that I filmed with my camera that night and then the crying scene I did to Maxwell's Pretty Wing's. That may seem dramatic but it was so fun, when I was in college, we used to the same thing but it used just be a bunch of us entertaing each other. We would read my plays, or my scripts and act out the parts. Or make videos to our favorite songs. Now, I look forward to a whole bunch of stuff.

Oh you may be wondering where the Maca powder and the superfoods and the yada yada LA expensive healthy stuff--right, the trips, the choices, my move, the "events" led to what I like to refer to as my alternative "rooftop happy hour." Moving on...

I spent many year's training with Eric Morris and Aaron Speiser learning how to let go of the "ego" and learning how to get my emotions to the surface and cry so it's cleansing. If you can't do it. Email me and I will share the journey of freedom with you. It's called--I'm crying. So what? That doesn't mean I am not happy. I can't hold a job or I can't go on. It just means I need a tissue and more mascara when I am through.

(I live near the Sheraton-It looks just this uninspiring up close)

Oh Baltimore, I can see the hotel from my roof. You may be asking, why was I not out on a Saturday night? Why was I not clinking glasses under the strobe light or get the side of my face spit on by some drunk person in a bar? That's your answer. There is no inspiration in that. I wanted to listen to the conversation on the street such as. "I thought you said YOU had the cigarettes? Now I have to go back into 7-eleven?Man, just drive off" Or, just the wind on my face as I dance to my Ipod. It's so much more peaceful when you have pages to write. Besides my character Phoenix had to live like this, so why shouldn't I?

(Warm Pretzels-mmmm)

The next day. I woke up feeling great. I felt like I was on a mission. I don't know. At first I was just going to grab a paper and then get some coffee but I decided wait, no, the day is calling me. It's Sunday. People have brunch on Sunday. So I got up worked on for an hour put on a dress and some make-up and walked down to the Inner Harbor. It was hot. It was slave plantation hot, so I tried to make it snappy. But I must say I don't know why but I was feeling really determined--to EAT.

(What's brunch without a mimosa)

For the record, I don't like mimosa's. But I got to add to my ambiance. I had my tanble facing the harbor and my sunhat on with the large Audrey Hepburn shades, I felt I had to have liquor on the table. I was going to take my journal out, but this baby kept coming over to me so I played with the baby and took pictures of a few things. More importantly I just wanted to chill. I wanted to sit there with no accoutrement's. I remember the first time I ever dined alone. My good friend Ruthie in LA who was older hipped me to it.

She used to always eat at Urth's Caffe or Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills. I was like horrified when she told me. I thought it was so fancy and bold but like, who in the HELL eats alone? Social outcasts? Hard up people who can't get dates? No. There are many reasons, and people who dine alone. I love it. I mean, I am not going to go to certain places where there is five star dining with table service and your dipping your fingers in bowls of water to cleanse them and eat alone. That's ridiculous. But a patio? A casual atmosphere, a bar? Why not. I mean, I'm not taking people home with me, I'm eating. I am relaxing and not talking. Or even worse explaining something. The only thing I like to explain is literature, but sometimes I am not smart enough for that. Especially in New York. There's always that genius whose been reading Dosteosky out the womb and they really understood I-ching and retained the information. I was thinking of all this then my food came. MMMM




(Maryland Crab Benedict)

I scraped off the crab. I know what a waste. But I love eggs Benedict. This was good. I pretty much just ate the fruit and the spinach. (Told you I am a true veggie) I think I was too hot. Plus, that kid kept coming over. I'm all for the kids but at some point a parent should say, "ok little BoBo leave the nice lady alone." Why do I have to lift my shades and do the fake laugh like hehehe come get your baby? But, it was all good. Like I said I was in the mood of a lifetime. I even took a picture of these flowers next to me.

(Are these Petunias?)

If you are in the Baltimore are check out J Paul's for Brunch at the Harbor. It is the place to be. Ladies don't be afraid to eat alone. Get strong. The only place I think I would not go alone is to a club, but I don't go to clubs I go to rooftops. That shows how amazingly cool I truly am.

I have a friend on Food buzz that sent me a recipe that will make you shake. That is coming up tomorrow. I want to do a proper post on it. So check for that. Until then people. Let's fall in love. First with ourselves and then with each other.

Bon Appetit! FRESHKID

Congratulations to my Brother Ian heading off to Virgina Commonwealth University this Fall!!! all your hard work paid off. You did it all by yourself. I love you. This is just the beginning. No one can stop us we we put our mind to something. No matter what happens around ys, no matter what the circumstances, or what anyone says we are our mother's children and we are destined for success. God Bless.

Steamed Mussels and Finding Refuge in Baltimore City Life

"That Black Rain that take away your pain. Just for one night, baby, take me in vein. Now that feelin' got you trippin'...." Jay Z, I know

I was kickin it on my roof about 30 minutes ago since that's about the only place I can get some air around this urban whatever they call it. I just know urban is the word the word they use. I just wanted to feel the night breeze and take cool pics of the buildings and me with no mascara and lipgloss listening to Andre 3000 sing Prototype over and over again.

My mom came up to spend some time with me and help me get a new computer and get some steamed mussels. She keeps looking at my tatoo like its too small. I agree but right now, I'm gonna let it ride until I decide to do nothing with it or darken it. I still see my little star.

I wish I could show the pics of the city but my camera is acting funny so I jacked some pics from Kanye's blog. I am feeling pretty good about myself on one hand creatively and like cow dung in other areas. That is why I took pics of myself with no mascara. I am obsessed with all things real. So next blog, I will show them. My fast went really great. I was weak though. I kept falling asleep after work from lack of energy. So steamed mussels with mom tasted really yummy. I have never broken a fast correctly. Are you disappointed? Me too? I know how to break it correctly, so save your emails. I just don't do it right. One day I will.

I slipped on a pair of my skinny jeans that I haven't worn in 4 years! That felt really good. So, I think I am almost back to being a Fresh Kid. Ala this chick. She is a London fashion designer up and coming. Like I said, with all the free time I know have and with many more to come I hope to not only represent, but, use my money to fuel my own creative projects. Whoever knows me, knows that my heart and my spirit bleeds creativity. It's who I am. This chick is definitely a fresh kid. Maybe that will be my next tat. FRESHKID.LOL.

"Keep tryin' to remind you to keep tellin' yourself.Now your conscience is interfering, like "Better yourself!"Like you better get help.But when that medicine's felt?" Jay Z, I Know

When I have a lot to do I listen to Jay-Z. He is a confident artist and so I draw from that. Sometimes I really ponder life in Baltimore. But not to much because I am at one of those peace be still moments. One of those when the student is ready the master will appear type situations. So, I am practicing extreme patience. I wish I could write to you that recipes are coming to mind. Well, I am fasting because I needed clarity and focus and I learned a lot. Too much to share, rather, too personal to share. Just know, I had strong emotion. Strong release. Strong release is good because with strong with their is cleansing and healing and forward movement and the the next thing you know, you are like a butterfly. You are writing compositions, acing tests, your skin is glowing, their is clarity and focus of mind.

When I was a child I loved the story of the tortoise and the hare. Remember, just like in football, it can look like one team is loosing, but in the end, they are winning. I have done things over this month that I have never done before but one thing that I have enjoyed doing more than ever is forming a deeper connection with people. I believe that is something that is going to play a role in my future. There are alot of people in this world and if we connect with them just momemtarily we will never be alone. That is not God's plan. We can't take every stranger to our home and we don't have to meet people at bars, but the human experience and connection is serious. So here is a recipe for mussels that will warm your heart especially if you live by the water. This is from a site called WasabiBratwurst http://www.wasabibratwurst.com/beer-steamed-mussels-recipe/

Beer Steamed Mussels

Cleaning Mussels
As with any shellfish (clams, oysters and the like), mussels must be cooked while they are still alive. Smell them before purchase, they should smell like the ocean and should not have any major odor. Soak the mussels in cool fresh water for 20-30 minutes before cooking and the scrub the mussels under running water with your hands, or a brush to remove sand, kelp, barnacles, or other attachments. If you find a bearded mussels, give the beard a nice tug with your hand or use kitchen scissors and it should come right off. Discard mussels that are broken, cracked, chipped or not tightly closed.
Steamed Mussels Recipe for Two
Olive oil2 tablespoons butter2 cloves garlic, minced2 small shallots, minced12 oz bottle of beer of your choice – Lager is the way to go. Nothing too hoppy :)2 lbs mussels2 tablespoons cilantro leaves and stems, finely mincedFresh ground black pepperLemonParmesan cheese, grated
Cooking Mussels
Heat large pot or a Dutch oven over medium heat, add olive oil and melt the butter. Add shallots; cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Stir in garlic and cook until fragrant, about 15 seconds.
Add mussels to the pot, and pour in the lager. Close lid and let mussels steam over medium heat until shells are open and the mussels turn opaque, 5~6 minutes. Make sure to shake the pan occasionally to ensure even cooking.
Remove the mussels and place in a serving dish. Let the broth rest a few minutes allowing any remaining sand to settle to the bottom of the pan. Carefully pour out the broth using a ladle, avoiding the bottom.
Top with cilantro leaves, black pepper, and a nice squeeze of lemon juice to taste. Sprinkle grated Parmesan cheese to finish off. Serve hot with crusty bread to mop up the juices!

Sweet Tooth? Banana Muffins;

"It's All Happening.." -Penny Lane, Almost Famous

Hey family. As I am typing listening to Jay-Z's I Know and watching the video, I highly suggest you watch it. Then you listen to the words, and then you watch the video and then figure out do you have the courage to put yourself out there. I love Zoe Kravitz and she has done anything. Maybe its the mojo.

It's been a LONG time since I just posted a recipe and then left the building. But over the the last month I feel like I have been living in a movie and not a bad one either. Just a movie. One filmed by Spike Jones (Lost in Translation) or Sophia Coppola. (Virgin Suicides) My mind is being transported to the rooftop of Christina Applegate's house sitting on a rooftop in Cali without a care in the world. I was too lazy to write, but I had a tape recorder that I used to record all moments or my thoughts. Right now, I am working on two projects simultaneously. One helps the other. Virginia Woolf did something similar and so did Slyvia Plath. I am not trying to be either one. I am just trying to keep my feelings and emotions separate from my fiction. I had a thought, this is how it's going to be forever... Depending on your mind set, that could mean anything.

(The muffins are coming but stick with me-let me share with you how ridiculous images can be)

I am at Amtrak waiting for my train. Mind you, I am living and documenting this movie I am living in lately. I have conrows and to people it means whatever they want to see. So, this young man comes up to me and says,"You have this Lisa Bonet vibe, like you about spit some real deep poetry and burn some incense. Like you seem just real deep and chill." Well, "That's interesting I said. I'll take the Lisa Bonet. But I haven't written a poem in years and I don't think it was too conscious. Also, incense, meditation...naw. I just got cornrows. I am spiritual. But come to think of it, are you a trained dancer?" Oh man, his face! He was like," What would make you think I do ballet?" Ugh," you're muscles and your tight tank top?" Your stocky build. I don't know. Needless to say he was offended. Maybe I touched his zesty area.

Whatever. I headed on to Virginia and chilled with the ultimate in coolness, my brother. But on the way I met a cool Dominican chick who schooled me on life. It's real people. We spoke broken Spanglish to eachother the whole way there because she thought I was Dominican at first. I am always a believer that when you do the right thing and your heart is pure and your honest and your not BITTER and HATEFUL. God will set you up. So, you know, don't be bitter it makes you look old. Think of all the things that you wanted to do. For me, I wanted to read Ayn Rand and someone kept saying it would change me. Well, maybe I need a change. Then a friend invited me to Brazil! Look, I gotta pay my own way this ain't no date. But I was supposed to go with someone else but look, dreams don't die, they reincarnate. I will get to go to Bahia. Maybe not during Carnival. But I will get there if I want to go. Since he is trying to find his wifey, but still likes to tour, and go see old slave ports and sites and not just get wasted we can do that together so I apprecite that. Then he can go be a man, I may even be an ally.

Or I can get a little crazy or not. Maybe someone will catch me a fish or...who knows. I am not dying to go to Brazil. But I appreciate the kind offer from a friend. I do want to go back to Italy. A friend once said he could see me painting on lake Cuomo. I have wanted to go ever since. So, that means I have to get there right? It looks so beautiful.

I am 100% open. Next year. This year, I am focused. No crazy stuff just enjoying the beauty of life and laughing uncontrollably. Oh, and meeting and listening to the most random people in the world and loving it. Hit the Treadmill and eat your veggies !!!! Bon Appetit.

Banana Muffins

Also there only 130 calories, which is really good. I loved them, and I'm not a banana eater. The recipe is from Joy Bauer's book Joy's LIFE Diet.

Here's the recipe:

Makes 6 muffins

Ingredients

Vegetable oil cooking spray1 large egg

2 tablespoons fat-free sour cream2 tablespoons lowfat buttermilk1/2 cup oat bran1/3 cup whole-wheat flour3/4 teaspoon baking soda3/4 teaspoon baking powder1/4 teaspoon salt1 1/2 cups mashed banana (about 3 medium)2 tablespoons brown sugar1/2 cup blueberries, fresh or frozen, unsweetened1/2 teaspoon grated orange zest (optional)

Preparation

Heat oven to 375 degrees. Coat a standard muffin pan with cooking spray. Whisk egg, sour cream and buttermilk in a bowl. Mix oat bran, flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt in a second bowl. Combine banana and sugar in a third bowl. Stir in buttermilk mixture. Sprinkle in flour mixture and stir gently. Fold in blueberries and zest, if desired. Fill muffin cups 3/4 full with batter. Bake until an inserted toothpick comes out clean, 15 to 20 minutes.